12.22.2008

As I have reflected back on the time, conversation, and memories shared with our parents last evening the only word I can think of is "Miracle"

Miracle (mir-e-kel) 1. an event or action unexplained by scientific law 2. an awesome or unimaginable event.

We have shared with dad on multiple occasions the events that took place in October which caused him to be hospitalized for 19 days. Dad does not remember much of anything regarding his grave condition nor the circumstances. He does acknowledge the fact that he is lucky to be here and remains positive, faithful, and optimistic despite the grim statistics of this horrible disease, this is a miracle.

Our father was able to complete his chemo/radiation treatments without lengthy interruptions, this is a miracle.

Our mother has been able to continue working and providing amazing insurance benefits. She remains faithful to her mission call, her eternal companion, her children, and her Father in Heaven, she is a miracle.

Dad's medical team remain hopeful, optimistic, encouraging, willing and promising, this is a miracle.

Encouraging words, sentiments of love, phone calls, notes, cards, fasting and prayer continue to sustain us, this is a miracle.

As we consider all that has taken place over the past 4 months, look towards tomorrow, and contemplate where this journey could take us I realize that our parents have blessed each of us with the opportunity of a lifetime, this journey is a miracle.

12.21.2008

Mom and Dad spent this morning at the Tabernacle with the choir and then returned home. Dad's maintenance chemo is double the dose he was originally taking, he takes it for 5 days and is then off for 30. Dad took his first dose last evening, so far so good. Dad continues to gain strength each and every day. His coloring is much better, his voice is stronger, and his appetite is slowly improving.

Mom and Dad had a wonderful visit this afternoon with dad's cousin Cherl who lives in Cedar Hills. Cherl and her fun husband are two of our "favorites", their visits bring stories, humor, and endless laughter.

After preparing dad''s medications for the week I spent the remainder of the evening visiting with mom and dad around the "very warm" fire blazing in the fireplace, the poor quality of coal from the Fairview house sparked a great reminiscing conversation of dad's younger days in the coal mines of Castledale. I love hearing dad tell stories of his father and grandfather; two men I never knew. Dad's long term memory is fascinating, he can recall some of the most detailed experiences of his childhood. As we were visiting this evening dad became very quiet, reflective, and emotional as he commented "the Lord is blessing me beyond my understanding. He continued to share "I asked the Lord to bless my body that it would adjust to my new chemo regimen and I have not experienced any side effects, I am so blessed." I assured our father that he certainly is being blessed and so are the rest of us; we, too have petitioned the Lord for various blessings throughout this journey and continue to marvel at the indescribable heavenly love we feel. As I grow older I am discovering that I do not have the ability to remember days like I used to; however, I am more mindful of moments. I am so grateful for the "moments" I experienced tonight, laughing, crying, and reminiscing with our amazing parents.

12.20.2008

Dad is exhausted following his early shifts at the temple, running errands in a blizzard, and his full schedule of events from last week; he is resting today. Dad's chemo now has to be delivered to the house and requires a signature, it was delivered this morning and dad is anxious to get started.

Mom spent a portion of today shopping and enjoying the Christmas spirit while dad remained at home in front of the fire. Mom and Dad are looking forward to the arrival of our family from Idaho for the holidays. Marty has been stranded in Anchorage, Alaska for the past couple of days and we are all anxious for him to return to Idaho so that he can turn around, pick up his family and travel to Utah for the holidays.

12.19.2008

Mom is off today and was able take dad and pick him up from his early morning shift at the Temple. Despite the horrendous road conditions and winter storm dad had a list of things he wanted to accomplish today, he and mom were out driving around in a blizzard! They went to Cabellas, Cal Ranch, Dave's shop and a few other random stops along the way; according to dad he has had a "wonderful" day.

Dad started a fire in the fireplace and is settling in to relax and watch some movies, mom is going to try to recover from her day of driving in a blizzard.

12.18.2008

Mom took dad to the temple early this morning for his weekly shift, I picked dad up when his shift had ended and took him home. As always I cherished the few moments we were able to spend reviewing his morning, his party last evening, and the events on the calendar for this afternoon. I had made some homemade chicken noodle soup with homemade noodles and all thinking that dad might enjoy it for lunch; he was kind and said he might try it. I am pretty sure Campbell's Chicken Noodle will win.

Mom is taking dad to his Neurologist later this afternoon, we are sure that all will go well.

Dad passed his exam with the Neurologist with flying colors, Dr. Gaufin does not need to see dad again unless he develops a problem. Once again our prayers have been answered. I spent the evening with mom and dad as we had our annual candy making event, dad worked in his office as we worked in the kitchen. The sounds, sights, and tastes of Christmas filled our childhood home this evening; I feel so humbly blessed to have been there to experience it.

12.17.2008

Mom and Dad had a formal dinner/party at the Grand America this evening, an event that dad has been looking forward to for over one month. Again, one month ago we would have never thought it would be possible for him to attend. The event was for guest service missionaries, special event coordinators, and other church officials.

Dad said that the food was "alright" but that Patty B. (caterer for the church) does a better job. Throughout this cancer journey we have heard numerous times "one of Patty's eclairs sure does sound good". We have tried Patty, we now accept that we will never be able to compete with you.

President Monson spoke at this evening's dinner, dad was so happy to be among so many of his colleagues and dear friends.

Dad is looking forward to serving his shift in the temple tomorrow and Friday.

12.16.2008

Mom took dad to see Dr. Whang today for his regular pacemaker/defibrillator check ups. Dr. Whang feels that dad is doing "very good" considering all that he has been through since his last visit. The lower portion of dad's heart remains somewhat "sluggish", nothing that we were not already aware of. Dad was encouraged to exercise when he feels strong enough to do so; dad loves to hear this as he is convinced that is why he is doing so well cardiac wise. He will see Dr. Whang in April unless something comes up.

Mom and I commented once again how blessed we are to have such knowledgeable professionals caring for our husband and father. Dr. Whang was well informed of our father's condition, it is reassuring to know that he is part of dad's extraordinary medical team.

12.15.2008

Even after a long, activity filled weekend our father continues to gain strength each and every day. We are still working on the dietary issues with each new day bringing promises of weight gain.

Dad has more appointments this week with his Cardiologist and a follow up with his Neuro-Surgeon, we are sure they are going to be just as impressed with this incredible man as we are.

12.14.2008

Mom and Dad returned to Salt Lake City this morning for the final Christmas Concert Performance. Dave and I stopped to visit following our meetings and they were just getting home. Both mom and dad are exhausted yet so fulfilled. Mom has one final holiday event this evening, I think dad will stay home and rest.

Dad and Dave visited while I prepared dad's weekly medications. Changes in some of mom's insurance benefits have changed since dad completed his chemo, we are waiting for the insurance company to notify mom as to when she can obtain dad's chemo. Dad will take his oral chemo five days on thirty days off, we have already been informed that it is a much higher dose and we will see evidence of this. We are grateful to even have the option.

12.13.2008

Mom and dad returned home very late last evening, Matt and Michele were in Deer Valley overnight for their annual work Christmas dinner/party so this meant the kids were able to stay with us! Mom and dad were already scheduled to be in Salt Lake the entire evening so I jumped at the opportunity of taking the kids until grandma and grandpa returned. Being with Matt and Marty's children is like experiencing a little bit of heaven here on earth, they are so kind, thoughtful, fun, and well mannered.

Mom and dad experienced another wonderful night last evening, they were assigned to dinner parties and then had responsibilities at the Conference Center for the Christmas Concert. Following the concert dad was assigned to accompany featured artist Brian Stokes Mitchell to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building for his cd signing, this was the reason for their late return. It is very apparent that our father is one happy man, returning to missionary service has been the best medicine during this challenging time of our lives; we are so grateful.

Mom took Matt and Michele's kids home this morning so they could attend a ward party and get their chores done. Dad rested throughout the day and prepared for another long evening in Salt Lake.


Dave, Gentry and I took Trax to the Conference Center for the concert this evening, while we were waiting for the program to begin we were able to watch mom and dad in action.
It is most comforting to witness the blessings being afforded our family on a daily basis, one month ago I would not have been able to imagine standing with my father in a building he dearly loves, performing the sacred work he has been called to do. Simply amazing. We were honored this evening to meet a fellow missionary and special friend to mom and dad. Jerry is also traveling this cancer road with his eternal sweetheart who has Leukemia. As I watched dad and Jerry exchange sentiments of love with one another I knew I had just met one of the many angels who surround our parents.

12.12.2008

Dad completed his second shift back at the temple this morning with minimal problem, he is freezing (down to 150 lbs.) but he will remedy that by wearing new thermal undergarments. Dad took a much needed nap prior to leaving for Salt Lake and an evening full of events and music.

Dad's blood pressure remains good 97/52 and his bloodwork continues to be well within normal limits, this is such a blessing considering all that he has been through. One of dad's physicians cannot believe that dad's platelets have remained normal and that his white and red blood cells have not declined or accelerated throughout treatment, prayers have been answered. Dad's weight is down approx. 14 lbs. from where we would like to see it, prayers for increased appetite and weight gain are most appreciated. Dad does not feel like eating anything "sweet" but is still enjoying "salty", we continue to encourage, prepare, and provide anything and everything that sounds good. We are learning that we cannot just place food in front of him and expect him to eat, we have learned that we must inquire and then provide.

I have missed seeing mom this week but I am full of gratitude that she is able to serve within her mission capacity at this time. The task of caring for a terminally ill loved one is "daunting" to say the least. We are very aware of our father's condition and his prognosis; this makes each of us ultimately aware of the need to be positive and faith believing as we perform our individual tasks in caring for our parents. Our mother is faced with difficult challenges each and every day, she lives, eats, drinks, and breathes this awful disease; however, she fulfills her role as wife, mother, grandmother, employee, sister, friend, and woman with dignity, grace, courage, determination, and a heart full of love. As her children we are so thankful for the ability our mother has been blessed with to continue working and providing amazing insurance benefits for our dad, we are thankful for her desire to continue serving others even though her needs are great, we are thankful for the opportunities we have to "fill in" the few gaps we can while she is away, and we are most thankful for our mothers example of faith, positive thinking, and testimony.

Your words of encouragement, promise, faith and love are most appreciated. We know that our parents did not accept this gift of adversity because they needed it, they accepted it in behalf of others so that we may learn. I daily pray that my heart and mind may be turned to the opportunity before me to learn, grow, serve, and strengthen my testimony. I want to be just like my parents when I grow up.

12.11.2008

Dad was up bright and early to fulfill his duties at the temple this morning, he is so thankful for this blessed opportunity. Dad returned from his early morning shift just in time to leave for Provo.

Mom and Dad met with dad's Medical Oncologist today for his post treatment visit regarding the chemo side of this journey. Dr. Rich reviewed the CT scan just as Dr. Clark, his interpretation seems to be along the same lines as Dr. Clark; they both feel that the minimal swelling is due to the radiation and not growth of the tumor. A follow up CT will be done two months from now which will better indicate the success of the radiation.

Dr. Rich is a realist for which we are most grateful, he reminded mom and dad once again that dad has a very serious type of cancer which will ultimately take his life. We must focus on quality of life rather than quantity of life. Discussions of "maintenance therapy" were held and Dr. Rich reviewed dad's chemo protocol for the next couple of months, he will be taking the same oral chemo but in a larger dose; 5 days on chemo 30 days off. Studies have shown this protocol to be very promising and successful, we will also watch for any new clinical trials on the horizon. The Neuro-Oncology Conference was held in Las Vegas last month where several trials and treatments were reviewed and announced, this looks encouraging. Dad will begin chemo tomorrow. Dad was able to receive his flu shot today but still must remain very cautious to avoid germs and illness. Dad felt very good about his appointment with both of his Oncologists this week other than he has not received the "go ahead" to drive, PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE.

Mom had a large event at the Church Office Building as well as dress rehearsal for the Christmas Program at the Conference Center, she left for Salt Lake shortly following dad's appointment. I stopped by to visit with dad on my way home from work, he had just awakened from a much needed nap (he has not slept since Tuesday evening). Dad and I talked about his appointment, frustrations, blessings, sacrifices, and the difficulty our family has in being gracious receivers of acts of service. Dad and I discussed the fact that it is much easier for us to be on the giving end rathern than the receiving end, I reminded dad that through his acceptance of this cancer gift he is providing family, friends, and neighbors the avenue to receive some of our Father in Heaven's most cherished blessings... true yet challenging.

Dad decided not to go to Salt Lake with mom this evening, he had a Christmas Dinner with one of the Horseback organizations he belongs to, he was excited and anxious to attend and visit with dear friends he has missed over the past couple of months. Once again, I loved the quiet moments and conversation I was able to share with my father today; we selected the outfit he would wear tonight, listened to a new CD he had received, and talked of dreams, wishes, and promises. I am one lucky girl!

Dad will return to the temple in the morning to work his regular shift, he and mom will travel to Salt Lake tomorrow afternoon. Dad mentioned several times this evening how "wonderful" it was to be back at the Conference Center among the General Authorities, "being in their presence is great".

President Eyring spoke last evening at the Zion's Security Dinner where he addressed the "crescendo's of life", just like written music there are ups and downs in life, it is up to each of us to discover the beauty in each rise and decline of our personal crescendo's. We will each experience moments of our lives where there are increases of intensity and force leading to an ultimate climatic position, we will then experience a de-crescendo where the forces and intensity begin to diminish and the music of life quiets down. How grateful I am for another wonderful lesson shared through the eyes of my father.

12.10.2008

Mom and Dad have a very busy week at the Conference Center, several events are on the books as well as the choir's annual Christmas Concert. General Conference and the week of the Christmas Concert are two of the events mom and dad enjoy so very much. Although they are the most exhausting weeks of their lives they each love the opportunity of being involved and serving.

Mom and Dad were in Salt Lake all evening. Tomorrow is another day full of doctors appointments and events at the Conference Center. Dad is meeting with his Medical Oncologist tomorrow to discuss chemo maintenance and the next phase of our cancer journey.

Our prayers for today include:

Chemo maintenance that will be manageable
Safe travels to and from Salt Lake
Increased energy and physical strength for dad to be well enough to participate in the events of the holidays
Dad's appetite to increase
Patience, Patience, Patience

12.9.2008

Matt and his family spent Family Home Evening last night with mom and dad. They brought more wood, split logs, and shared pumpkin cookies and cider.

Today has been a day of earnest fasting and prayers in behalf of our father. Mom had an assignment in Salt Lake this morning and returned this afternoon for a full schedule of CT scans and doctors appointments. Dad met with his Radiation Oncologist today for his post radiation/treatment appointment. We are excited to announce that everything looks just as they had hoped following 6 weeks of treatment. Dad has minimal swelling at the surgical site which is believed to remain from the radiation. Mom and Dad were advised that the radiation treatments will continue to remain "actively treating" up to 2-3 months post treatment, this is encouraging. Dad's physician remains very positive and hopeful for a quality filled life with our father.

Dad received the "go-ahead" to return to the temple, his missionary work, and other limited activities. We are encouraging dad to take it one step at a time, build his strength, avoid sickness and germs, and remember "thy" will not "my" will.

As I visited with dad this afternoon the excitement in his voice was enlivening, it was heart-warming to listen to his expressions of faith and appreciation he has in the prayers being offered in his behalf. Our family could not have endured the past four months without the prayers and thoughts of so many loved ones, friends, ward members, and perfect strangers. Each prayer has been heard and felt in the hearts of our family; we are touched, blessed, and so, so loved.

12.8.2008

Dad had a Water Conservancy Board Meeting today, as I drove him downtown we discussed his upcoming appointments this week, Dad is confident, encouraged, and full of faith that all is going to be well. The focus of our minds, hearts, and prayers today is that we too; will be believing.

Gentry picked up dad from his meeting and took him home following his meeting. We understand and witness the frustration dad experiences with his temporary driving restrictions; we also understand and have witnessed the many blessings that accompany these restrictions.
Several have been provided the occasion to take dad to appointments, treatments, meetings and leisurely rides; what a blessing this is! Although our father looks at these opportunities as inconveniences we are so thankful that our moments to serve have not been restricted.

One of the greatest lessons I continue to learn from my parents is that of earthly service, from the time I can remember my parents have been actively engaged in service to others. Whether it be church, work, civic, school, or throughout their neighborhood our parents believe in service to others. Some of my sweetest memories of childhood are those that involve the acts of service my parents would perform. For several years my mother and I would walk over to Grandma Swain's home where I would watch my mother roll Sister Swain's hair in small black bristled rollers. I would sit on a stool at the kitchen table and marvel at my mother's hair rolling speed as we listened to Sister Swain update my mother and I on the comings and goings of each of her children and grandchildren. Later in the afternoon my mother and I would return to remove the curlers and comb out the crisp curls of fine, fine hair in preparation for Sunday. Another memory of service that took place in Grandma and Grandpa Swain's home are the days my father would return from work, change his clothes and walk over to the Swain home where Burt was bedridden; my father would gently lift Brother Swain's frail body tenderly repositioning him in the bed to prevent bed sores. I recall many late nights when Sister Swain would call for my father to come to Burt's bedside to perform a sacred priesthood blessing or assist in changing bedding. My memories of being in the Swain home are memorable and magical, I still to this day can recall the smell of their home, the sound of Grandma Swain's voice, and the adventures we had in their fascinating yard; but the greatest memories of all are the examples of service rendered by my parents and the gracious acceptance and appreciation of their offerings from Fern and Burt.

Through their acceptance of this gift of cancer our parents continue to teach the powerful principle of service; they are providing each of us opportunity and inspiration to reach out to others. I don't know that our parents will ever be able to comprehend the number of lives they have touched, changed, and inspired; my own being one of them.

12.7.2008

Mom performed her duties in Salt Lake this morning and returned in time to pick up dad for church. As it was Fast and Testimony meeting dad desired to attend the meetings he has missed so much over the past couple of months. Four months ago on this very day our cancer journey began, it only seems fitting that dad be provided the opportunity to publicly express his profound gratitude to our Father in Heaven, convey his heartfelt love and appreciation to ward members and friends, and to bear his powerful and touching testimony. The Lord's tender mercies continue.

Mom and Dad then traveled to Salt Lake to prepare for the First Presidency's Christmas Devotional. Mom had two other events following the meeting so dad patiently waited for her to finish. According to dad "today has been a wonderful day, I feel great".

I went over this evening to prepare dad's medications for the week, it was strange to not be able to visit with dad while I was there. Yet, it was so comforting knowing that he was with mom performing the sacred work he and mom have been called to do. Dad has sincerely missed his ability to serve at the Temple and Conference Center, we are so grateful that our Father in Heaven is affording him the strength, health, courage, and ability to resume the activities he cherishes.

12.5.2008

Mom phoned at 7:45 a.m this morning and explained to Gentry that dad had been unable to sleep last night, therefore, he would not be traveling to Salt Lake today.

I called dad later this morning and he said that he had finally been able to fall asleep early this morning and was not just getting up. I don't know if it was the anticipation of going with mom or just plain old insomnia that kept him awake. Dad mentioned that he had called Anthony around 3:00 a.m. to visit with him; we are grateful that Anthony's line of work affords him the ability to visit with dad at these odd hours of the night.

Dad's plan for this afternoon is to have a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup, exercise and rest as needed.

Dad spends a great deal of time reading his scriptures and other church doctrine, he has presented some thought provoking questions over the past couple of weeks. The thought currently on his mind is his wonderment in the tone of voice the Father used when He and the Son appeared to Joseph Smith. This combined with other recent conversations makes one wonder what takes place in the quiet hours our father spends alone.

While visiting with dad this afternoon he received a phone calls from his college friend Steve and Carroll O; they had a great time visiting and catching up. Dad appreciates and enjoys so much the phone calls he receives throughout the day. Dad and I spoke of the number of dear friends from Sanpete County that he still has contact with, he looks forward to visiting with some of them during the holidays. Dad is appearing healthier each and every day, his strength is gradually returning and he is back on his daily exercise regime.

Dad invited Dave and I to go with him this evening for Chinese food; we were excited to be able to spend some quality time outside of home surrounded by good conversation, precious company, and food. Our conversation this evening was most humbling and moving as dad spoke of his upcoming post treatment appointments with his Oncology team; I continue to be reminded of the magnificent strength of this remarkable man. He is courageous, believing, and ever so inspiring; during the times that I feel I don't have enough faith to carry me through I know that I can rest on the wings of our father's faith until I am able to once again fly on my own. As we ended our meal with traditional fortune cookies we were touched and humored when dad revealed his fortune...

"You will soon be reunited with dear friends"

I had to wonder; "was it just coincidence that Steve and Carroll happened to phone dad today?" I like to believe it is because our father is a very fortunate man.

12.4.2008

Dad is back on the bike and treadmill trying to encourage his strength and muscle quality. He has been sleeping well yet still struggles somewhat in the food department. He has been sleeping until later in the morning and sometimes wakes up in time for lunch. The desire for "salty" foods continues with an occasional craving for a milkshake.

We are noticing more lack of memory and some intermittent confusion as our journey continues. This could be from the disease, lengthy hospital stays, being somewhat confined to home, or a combination of all of the above. We know that it most likely will not improve and we understand that it has the potential of becoming much worse.

Dad thought that a salad sounded especially appetizing this evening. He ate the rest of his steak leftover from the party on Monday evening and watched a little television.

I reminded mom this evening that each additional day is a gift with a lesson to be learned. Dad has gone to bed and is looking forward to tomorrow, we will pray for the best.

12.3.2008

Dad's feet are doing much better, the swelling is down and he is now able to wear his regular footwear. Dad called his Radiation Oncologist today to discuss a time frame when dad could return to his missionary duties. The physician told dad that he could resume doing activities as he felt able but that he must be very cautious and not over extend himself.

Mom has several events in Salt Lake this week, the largest being Elder Wirthlin's funeral on Friday. Dad is determined to attend the funeral, perform his duties and then wait for mom while she oversees the other two events taking place that evening. I told mom that I would drive up and pick up dad later in the afternoon but he is insisting that he will stay and ride home with mom. We will see how it all goes.

12.2.2008

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." Joseph B Wirthlin, "Come What May, and Love It," Ensign, Nov 2008

Dad and I have discussed on a couple of occasions how timely several of the messages during the most recent General Conference were considering our current circumstances. One particular talk that we found to be so timely was Elder Wirthlin's "Come What May, and Love It". Through dad's cancer journey we are being afforded numerous opportunities of discovering the blessings of adversity and challenge. Our mother frequently reminds us "it is what it is, we now have to deal with it". Mom and Dad continue to provide the strength, wisdom, love, faith, and testimonies which enable each of us to carry on.

As I have read and re-read Elder Wirthlins talk I am convinced now more than ever that it was written for our family (I am sure there are many who feel the same). I especially appreciate the wisdom he shared when he said the following:

"If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.

"These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others."

I am so grateful for this wise counsel and the opportunity he provided to remind each of us to:

Laugh

Seek for the Eternal

The Principle of Compensation and

Placing our Trust in the Father and His Son

We are grateful that our family has the ability to laugh with one another; even though we sometimes laugh through tears we are so grateful for those healing, happy laughs.

We are thankful to have two parents that through their examples have taught each of their children to never ask "why me?" Our pain, sadness, frustration, and heartache are understood by the one who suffered the greatest suffering of all. We have found comfort through the powerful examples of our mom and dad.

We have been blessed beyond our belief through the principle of compensation. Our father's knowledge and testimony of the Plan of Salvation brings peace to our souls, the fasting and prayers of many provide us strength necessary to endure, and the encouraging words from dear family and friends heal our hearts.

We continue to marvel at our father's ability in placing all of his trust and faith in his Father in Heaven. Our dad knows that prayers in our behalf are being heard; he trusts that he is being held in the hollow of his Father's hand.

As we continue to grown and learn through the challenges of this life may we each understand that

Come what may, it is what it is. We now must press forward, deal with it, and love it.

12.1.2008

During our morning phone call this morning mom and I discussed how we both appreciated the opportunity of visiting with Aunt Carol last evening. Aunt Carol has the ability to say it like it is, make one feel better about things, and provides enough laughter to keep you smiling until the next call.

Our mother comes from a family of four daughters, each one of them are strong, talented, hard working, knowledgeable, amazing cooks, incredible grandmothers, service oriented, and delightfully fun. Mom's oldest sister, Joan, passed away from cancer and is deeply missed, Carol resides in Idaho Falls and mom's youngest sister Connie lives in Salt Lake. Aunt Connie faithfully calls mom each night to check on she and dad; these phone calls are so important to each one of us. As fragile as our father's condition is we also have a mother who is fragile as well; although she remains strong and does not come off as being in a fragile state we know her needs are great. Aunt Connie and Aunt Carol provide mom an outlet that no one else can, they understand their sister in ways that we will never be able to.

Dad was determined to go to one of the Christmas parties he looks forward to each year, he was all dressed, boots on, and waiting for mom when she arrived from work. I visited with mom when they returned home and she indicated that dad was exhausted but had a good time visiting.

11.30.2008

Mom traveled to Salt Lake for her assignment this morning and returned to go to their ward. Dad remained home resting and visiting with Marty's family and Anthony. Gentry went over early this afternoon and dad asked him to take him over to Pleasant Grove to deliver some things to Hugh. Dad wanted to take his car but Gentry declined because he did not feel comfortable driving a stick shift, dad told him "that's okay, just let me drive". Gentry responded saying "Grandma would kill me, grandpa; we'll just go in the truck." Dad enjoyed the ride and the opportunity of seeing a friend.

Dad and Gentry had a very interesting conversation today where dad shared with him some things that he has not shared with anyone in regards to the heart attack he suffered while serving as a Bishop at BYU. While dad was performing interviews with ward members he began feeling chest pressure but he just kept putting it off thinking that it would go away, as it persisted dad heard a voice tell him to seek help, dad ignored this prompting and kept interviewing. Again he heard the voice telling him "you are in trouble, get help", dad explained that he "knew" the voice; it was familiar to him. Dad shared with Gentry that the voice he heard that day was the voice of his mother admonishing him to seek medical attention, the tone his mother spoke in was the same tone she used in his adolescence when he appeared to be ignoring her counsel or instructions. Each of us have known what took place that day in dad's office at BYU yet he had never shared with us whose voice it was that prompted him to get to the hospital that day. Gentry was the recipient of a most tender mercy this day.

Matt's family came by this evening to visit with mom and and dad as well as the Home Teachers. Gentry and I arrived early this evening so that I could prepare dad's medications for the week, we had a great time visiting with the kids while mom and dad were occupied. As mom and dad joined us our conversation centered around mom's Christmas tree. Dad captured Madison's intrigue as he emotionally paid tribute to his dear mother for the magnificent beauty of the special ornaments she had crocheted and finished just days prior to her death on Thanksgiving Day over 20 years ago. It was at this moment that I profoundly realized how much my father must miss his mother and yearns for her to tell him "things will be alright".

Our Father in Heaven's design of family is simply divine; regardless of age or the distance between a child and their mother each maintains a heavenly connection of nurturing, tenderness, consoling, and infinite love. Through his revealing words today our father has demonstrated his never-ending love and longing for our grandmother.

11.29.2008

Dad continues to soak and massage his feet in an effort to gain some relief from the intense swelling and tightness; he is convinced that this is working.

Dad spends most of his days wrapped in blankets from head to toe, in front of the fire, napping. We are hopeful that his fatigue is from the intense battle he has been fighting. Mom remains vigilant in providing and preparing foods that sound appealing, this changes in a moments notice and often she prepares it and it no longer sounds good. This is all too familiar; Aunt Joan and Donna both experienced the same thing during chemo.

Mom and Dad are enjoying having the kids and grandchildren around, this is what it is all about. Mom has spent the past two days decorating for Christmas; it is true, there's no place like home for the holidays.

11.28.2008

We have not had a photo of our entire family taken since Samantha Emma was a baby, we have since added Madison, Russell, Cooper and Easton to the group. Seeing that we were all home for Thanksgiving mom thought that it would be a perfect time to have a family portrait done.

We all gathered at the carefully selected location, the pasture, bright and early on this windy, chilly day in hopes of capturing some priceless memories. We felt that the pasture was the perfect location as it holds years of fond memories for some of us, mostly our father.

Dads feet remain very swollen and uncomfortable yet he was determined to walk around the pasture from photo spot to photo spot. It was touching to see dad's horses react as mom pulled into the pasture; it was if the horses knew that dad was in the car, they greeted him the minute he got out of the vehicle and walked by his side as dad led them to the corral. Several cars had pulled into the area this morning and the horses continued eating in the pasture; it was when mom and dad arrived that their attention transitioned.


We were able to get some fun photos of our entire family as well as individual families, we are anxious to see how they all turn out. Mom took dad home as soon as we were finished with the large family photo as he was chilled to the bone. Most of the family returned to mom and dads for Thanksgiving leftovers and an afternoon of visiting and playing. Mom, Teri, and I battled to get dad's feet warm and comfortable as Matt prepared a nice fire in the family room. Dad rested, soaked his feet, and watched a little television for the remainder of the day.

11.27.2008

For the first time in several years our entire family gathered at mom and dad's for Thanksgiving. Marty and his family, Anthony, Maigan, and McLean traveled from Idaho, Arizona, and California to spend the holiday weekend with their Utah families.

Today was a lesson of learning as dad instructed Marty how to cook a perfect turkey Dutch Oven style. Once the bird was cooked dad instructed Anthony on how to carve the perfect bird.
We each brought respective parts of the meal and all 27 of us gathered around tables set with the finest of china and crystal. Dad offered a beautiful Thanksgiving prayer where each of us were taught the sacred manner in which we should each convey our profound gratitude to our maker. Through quivering words we were witnesses to tender expressions of grace and humility as our sweet father laid his heart and soul on the table while offering humble gratitude for the miracles performed in his behalf. A lesson never to be forgotten.

As we were eating dad brought our attention to the number of generations represented at our Thanksgiving meal; we were using the china and silver from mom and dad's wedding (49 years ago), we were sitting at a table that had belonged to dads parents, and we were serving and dishing up recipes brought down through the years using silver and crystal dating back to our great- grandmother.

The annual "Ringing of the Crystal" and the 2008 Arm Wrestling Challenge took place before we cleared the table. Many hands made light work as we quickly cleaned up the dishes while the cousins played, worked on their Thanksgiving game books, and the men got dad settled in front of a fire in the family room.

Although dad's feet remain very swollen and uncomfortable we have much to be grateful for. We are touched by the endless prayers being offered in behalf of our family, we are inspired by our parents steadfast courage and examples of righteous living, and we are humbled by the opportunity we have to do hard things.

I, personally, am so thankful for the gifts of adversity and challenge; for I know that through acceptance of these gifts we are blessed with some of our Father in Heaven's most tender mercies. I am witnessing each day that these gifts are wrapped in grace and hope; they provide each one of us the opportunity to renew our faith, increase our testimonies, practice patience and remind us to "Be Believing" in Heavenly Father's plan. I am discovering beauty in the gift our parents have accepted in our behalf, thank you mom and dad.